On the subject of things that matter...

Hello out there.

I have been really contemplating all of the dreams that I have for this blog and for myself in general. I am so happy with my plot of internet property here and I want to integrate a more "grown up" side of my life into it. There will forever be a struggle, for writers, artists, musicians, anyone who puts their thoughts and feelings out into the world in any way, between what is genuine and what is likeable. I know we, as bloggers, face this dilemma nearly every time we share anything intimate. Do we blog about what we are really feeling/thinking/caring about or do we consider our readers and try to cater to them?

I, for one, feel a pang of concern when I read something like "always stay consistent to your readers, keep a general format, consider the feelings of others in every post" or something similar in nearly every "tips for better blogging" post that I come across. It's not that I disagree with being considerate. But, I'm considerate by nature and being considerate and avoiding intentionally cruel themes IS being myself and being genuine. Not because I want to please everyone but because it's what I believe in. So with that inner struggle eliminated, I'm left with pondering the consistency aspect of blogging and how useful that really is to someone like me. I have tried different styles of blogging. I tried blogging about mostly crafts, mostly history, mostly current events. The truth is, it doesn't work for me the way it does for some. When I sit down to write with anything more than a naked idea or a memory, I get blocked. I prefer not to focus on keeping the squeaky clean image that some bloggers maintain because it literally blocks my thoughts. Honestly, I'm a pretty vanilla person in real life so I don't need to sensor myself too much. I do try not to cuss when blogging, even though I do in person. But, other than that, there isn't very much that I wouldn't bring up here. And that feels great, regardless of how some bloggers view my "inconsistency". There are still some things though, that I shy away from.

And that has to end.

I want to carve out a place in my blogging for things that are important to me, controversial or not. If I read a story about civil rights being violated or crime going unpunished, I want to be able to start a discussion on it. I sometimes can't believe how fortunate I am to have the readers that I have here. You guys have blown me away with your honesty and your courage time and time again, in the comments on my posts and in your own blogging. Not a day goes by that I don't think "wow, I get to interact with some smart, interesting people don't I?" and I want to tap even deeper in to that! I don't want to be afraid to use words like "rape", "gay", "god", etc. simply because they conjure up emotions and opinions outside of the normal blogging realm.

I want to talk about silly things like how annoyed with myself I am for continuing with my nail biting habit but ALSO talk about important things like bullying, loss, insecurity, human triumph and human suffering. I want to do this not only for my own expression but because through blogging, I have "met" some of the most brilliant minded people in the world and I want to know what you think too. There is a wealth of opinions and new perspectives in this online world that we all belong to and I need to make room for it here.

I have felt an amazing sense of connection and freedom when I've posted here about sensitive things in the past. I already share a great deal here so I'm not planning on changing much at all. I just want to dial the honesty up a tad more. I feel pretty great about it.

And,

I feel pretty great about you guys. Thank you so much for reading and sharing, giving and taking. I love you.