Most of my thoughts over the past few weeks have focused ENTIRELY on how much effort I am putting into reaching my goals in life. I constantly compare myself to others who doesn't and I never feel like I'm doing enough. Where did this sudden standard come from? What exactly is it that I'm trying to live up to? To be honest, I really have no idea. I have no idea what "enough" is. And without any idea what it is, I'm really setting myself up for failure here.
The more I think about it, the more ridiculous it sounds.
I know that sometimes in life, we lose our way. I know that no matter how many epiphanies we have in that scary time of facing the unknown, none of these realizations guarantee us a light to show us the way out....the way to our happiness. Coming to terms with the invisible standard that I've been holding myself to does, somehow, make me feel like being so lost at the moment is okay. Not having the tools to try as hard as I have in the past or try as hard as other people means absolutely nothing. If I had those tools, I could make the progress that I need to but I'm not going to find the answers by making myself crazy and beating myself up over my lack of effort.
My buddy Rob shared a little piece of wisdom with me the other day. It put into words, exactly what I was beginning to realize about this hell that I've been putting myself through.
This has been my mantra for the past few days as I try to collect my thoughts and feel better about myself. Just because I'm not as productive as I have been in the past does not mean that I'm not making progress. Everything in life is relative and what works for me right now is what I should be concentrating on. What I'm capable of is bound to fluctuate and I need to continue to strive for better, but also cut myself some slack.
Coming to terms with the fact that I'm in a slump is giving me a safe space in my mind and heart to deal with it. How can I get better if I'm convincing myself that it's not okay to be where I am?
I feel like often times people subconsciously confuse "being in a slump" with contentment... because when there is nothing to be super excited about, or no drama that's driving you to the brink of a nervous breakdown, we can feel lost like there is something missing something that is supposed to be happening but we don't know what, the things that we have that are supposed to make us happy just don't feel like enough, like it should be more (like what someone else might have)...feeling lost can be terrifying, feeling "content" can feel like settling for less than you want in life. Now I'm not saying that this is how you feel...it's just an observation of others that came to mind...
ReplyDeletexo
I can definitely see that. That's kind of what has been keeping me going, the thought that I don't have anything to really be upset about.
DeleteThanks <3
i share your feeling as far as comparing myself to others. i think it is really important to keep your sites set on people who are doing the same things as you...or who are in similar situations. i get super discouraged when i compare myself to someone who has 3000 followers. we just all have to support each other and one day we will reach the goals that we set for ourselves. other people reach those goals because they kept at it even when times seemed bleak. i know you will accomplish and succeed in everything you do pretty lady :)
ReplyDeleteYou're exactly right. Thank you so much :D
Delete<3
I often compare myselves to others when I am starting something new. For example, I got a sewing machine for christmas and instantly bought a bunch of patterns to try. I need to remember it takes time to learn things, instead of getting discouraged that I did it wrong, or doesnt look exactly like the picture.
ReplyDeletesar=)
www.etsy.com/shop/owleyevintage
I'm really worried that I've been doing a LOT of comparing lately.
DeleteThanks <3
Deep. Effort =/= progress. One of the very best reminders I've read lately is "comparison is a thief of joy" and it's so true. We can only do our personal best and be happy in that. I wish you happiness and joy.
ReplyDeleteThat quote has really stuck with me. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.
DeleteI'm with Jana: "Comparison is the thief of joy." -Theodore Roosevelt
ReplyDeleteThe way I see it, everyone has different priorities and goals. So why shouldn't we be happy to be different and unique in our path? I have a friend who is really struggling right now. She only sees what people post on Facebook (mostly the good) and feels like a failure because she isn't where she wants to be compared to our college classmates. It's torturous to put yourself through that! I had to tell her about my struggle with depression, which she knew nothing about, to help her see that things aren't always as peachy as they appear.
Just be yourself... your readers love you.
http://adventuresinaubreyland.blogspot.com
I don't have a facebook anymore and that is one of the reasons. People only put what they want to put on there and it's not always true. For someone like me, it was just too much to compare myself to others all the time when they were probably not even being honest. This wasn't the only reason I deleted mine.
DeleteI'm sure she's thankful to have a friend who would be so open, just to make her feel better.
Thank you so much <3
Cheer up friend! I know how it feels to be slump...and trust me, things will get better!
ReplyDeleteXo,
Eeka
Thank you <3 <3 <3
Delete